land of talk

Recently, I have become obessed with a canadian band, locals from Quebec. They go by the name of Land of Talk. I highly suggest if anyone loves depressing and heartbreaking music as much as me, that they listen to this band. I was talking with a co-worker about how all we listen to is for a lack of a more creative word, Sad music. It is true, and I can't exactly pinpoint the reason why I listen to this type of music. Don't get me wrong, I love happy, up beat and hip happening songs. For example, one of my favourite songs is Daylight by Matt and Kim. This song is probably the best song for a young hipster to strut your stuff to, as myself. I remember countless times, walking to class in Italy with this song playing. Quite a few times , I had to wipe the smile off my face. On another note, I honestly believe that the song It's Okay , but Land of Talk is the most beautiful heartbreaking song I have ever heard. Somehow when I listen to this song, I realize that it's going to be okay. After, just going through what seems like my biggest heartbreak yet, this song has brought alot of comfort to me. It doesn't rip at the asshole's heart who used you or stole that precious heart of yours. It doesn't talk about how you could do so much better, or waste your time with another asshole. It is basically just saying that , It's okay, we all feel this sometimes. so comforting to know this. Knowing that everyone feels this way. In a way, I feel like it is a letter to her past lover. She's telling him that it's alright that he broke her heart. Don't feel bad about it, it's happened before. If he ever read this, I'd like to say the same thing. Just so you know I'm going to be okay.
I am so thankful , to musicians that write soundtracks to my life. I have decided to start a soundtrack to my life. I want to look back when I am 85 years old and be able to look at pictures and listen to music. Be able to say, I have lived a pretty fucking awesome life.
so thank you land of talk, you have made the list. Many more to come.

Much love from the hipster
rhi

nurses are my new bestfriends

In the last week I have been in and out of the hospital 5 times. The first time was last week, where the doctor told me I had tonsilitis. JOY! It was awful, absoutely the most disgusting sickness I have ever had. Apart from wanting to die the entire time, I slept constantly. I also couldn't eat very much, I pretty much overdosed on chicken noodle soup. The next time was the very next day, so the doctor could check up on me. It seemed that everything was fine, keep taking my meds, which were a high dosage of amoxicillian. So I was good for the rest of the week, but come tuesday Morning, I was beyond belief itchy. I couldn't stop itching. So before I went out that night with megan, I went to the walk in clinic, and the doctor told me that I was having an allergic reaction to the penacillin I was taking. Good thing I knew I was allergic to it. She told me to stop taking my tonsilitis meds, which was down now, and prescribed me to this new drug. When the pharamacist told about this new one, he said to take it in the morning because it will make me very excited and happy. oh boy did they ever. Today was my third day on the pills at 830 am I had my sister blast my favourite dance beats in the kitchen while eating my toast. I should take some more of these in the morning! But then I would take benadryll to take the itching away, so that knocked me right out. Then on wednesday night, I wasn't feeling too well, and when mom came home she decided to take me to the emergency. I was absolutely covered in spots, rash, hives whatever you want to call them. I looked like a lobster with leporsey. They were covering every single inch of my body. Doctor gave me some strong drugs to take away the pain and basically said just to wait it out. He also reminded me to remember for future references that I am allergic to Penacillin. Wonderful. Oh, he also thinks that I may have never had tonsilitis, that it could be mono. Oh perfect. So this morning I was back at the hospital to get my blood taken, results come in on Monday! Prego prego I am praying that I don't have mono. It would just really suck, if I got mono. I have hardly been able to enjoy my time at home because I have been sick almost every single day. But I plan on enjoying myself this weekend! Mono or no Mono , I may pay for it sunday or monday but that's okay! I am so happy to be home with my friends and family. I think I may be driving them all a little crazy though. I have no purpose here...like actually. I joke about it, but its about time that I get a gosh darn job. But I have so much time till I am off again to get a job, right now im just enjoying spending time with the people I love and haven't seen in a long time. ciao ciao for now loves rhi

welcome home rhianna, by the way were going to give you tonsilitis. frcuk my life.

All that I know, is that I dont know how to be something you miss

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_rLhEFvXQIw&feature=fvst When I first heard this song, I honestly skipped over it at about 0:37 seconds. I thought nothing about it and what it could mean to me, until I stumbled upon this version on youtube. I love spending hours on youtube listening to people sing different versions of songs. After hearing this version, I feel in love with it. Maybe, I never liked it because its by Taylor Swift, and I think hearing her sing it doesnt mean anything to me anymore. I find that in her recent album she has absolutely no emotion in her voice. I think that takes alot for me to say considering that I was her biggest fan at one point in time. I just love the rawness and reality of this song. Ultimate break up song right here.

Single Girls

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RYUKq94cJiI

This makes me want to attempt to learn to play piano again.

4 DAYS TILL CANADA

Biology

Biology class. Whatever happened to Biology class. Well I guess what happened is I moved thousands of miles away from my hometown, oh and I graduated. So I guess you could say, that there was no need to be in a biology class anymore. As I was conversing with Christine today, bestfriend-bio partner-tinfoil collector, she was telling me of a mark she took in Chemistry that probably would not please her parents too well, but it reminded me of stressing over tests. Even though I strongly dislike science of any sort, I always looked forward to bio, mainly for the people that I avoided doing work with or talking with Ms.K. I remember opening countless animals, I would have to say I was quite into the frog dissection and also crying countless times over those damned punnet squares. No matter how many times Christine would explain to me, or Ms. K , or extra pre-exam practices I went to, I hated them. In the end, after months of frustration I still managed to pull a good enough mark. Needless to say without Christine as my bio partner, I doubt I would have passed that first exam. If I remember correctly our table, at the front of the classroom consisted of Christine, Myself, Myles and Jay. Jay was usually too wrapped up in his man crush of John Mayer, singing away songs of countless heartbreak to join our power pod, but Christine, Myles and I excelled at almost everything we did together. Although Myles was always distracting us with his ability to use his iphone in class, we were a good team. It just made me think about how much I miss highschool. I miss walking in every morning barley making it to my locker before O Canada, but sometimes if you are wearing the proper footwear, aka no heels, you would be able to sneak through the MPR and still make it to Ms.Knights creative english course. I miss when you spot your bestfriend in the hallway coming from the opposite direction, you still wave or make a silly face , even though you know your bound to see them in the mpr in a matter of mintues. I miss the teachers saying hello to you everytime they saw you, even if you attempted to put your head down, because you definately did not pay attention last class and they called you out on it infront of everyone. I miss all of us girls trying to put together whatever money we had left from our paychecks to buy a bag of chips or a chocolate bar. But I think most of all I miss the parking lot after school. Of course, I didnt have my own car, and there was absolutely no need for me to get a ride home seeing as I live 75 steps away, but I always ended up in someones car. Pumping music, crazy dancing, hiding ryans binders. Watching him look for them, watching him get worried, watching him get angry, watching him give up. hahahaha. I think overall, I really miss the people and the atmosphere. I am very lucky to be able to say that highschool was alot of fun for me. I talk to some friends here, and they complain about how horrible highschool was for them. I am thankful that I had a great group of friends who always knew how to brighten my day. As a wise, older person once told me,

You are in charge of your own happiness.

Something , that I live by alot, out here.

My hands are tied

Lately It seems that I am very overwhelmed with decisions. Mainly just the decision of deciding what I want to do with my life. I really know what my passion is right now, just taking 1 more year off to travel the world. But at the same time, I have alot of pressure to start school. I really dont think I am ready to lay down thousands of dollars to study a career that I am so unsure about. I am completly frazzled when it comes to deciding what I want to study. I have an interest in rehabilitation with alcohol and drugs, Travel, Music and psychology. If anyone knows a job that puts that all together please do inform me. I guess at some point in time, I will have to separate my passions from my priorities. I have decided to take another year off, not so much support from parents about not going back to school, but they are very happy that I am taking time to travel and see the world. There are so many places I still have to see, and I feel like I am running out of time. I know I am only 18, but soon to be 19 and I start freaking out every now and then because I have so many things I want to accomplish in my little time here. I really do want to have a great career, a family of my own and all those fun things everyone does, but at the same time, I have this huge desire to see so much more. Is it selfish? I am stuck with the decision of deciding where I want to go next year and at what time in the season do I go. I am returning home in a few short weeks, plan on finding a full time job and working my little bum off in order to make loads of cash. I have contemplated many options, the most popular one in my mind is working till the middle of September and heading off to Au pair in Sydney. I plan on staying there for about a year if I go to Australia as an au pair. It would be alot easier for me there than Italy, because I can get a second job, maybe a night job at a restaurant, earn a little more. Also, the benefit of having good friends that live there, that are more than excited for me to move there. Then there is the option of coming back to Italy, and au pairing in Rome. I have fallen completely head over heels in love for this city. I cant explain how much I love being in this city, I just feel so happy and at home. But then the factor that I have already been to Italy, and this would be my third time to Europe. There is also the option of working until December and taking 3 months in either continent Aus land or Europe and just travel from city to city. I met so many people on my last trip just travelling alone. I dont think I would be able to do it on my own, but I had a blast doing it with Brook for 11 days. You meet so many new people and I absoluetly love that feeling. As you can see my hands are tied and I have no idea what to do. I guess I should really just do what makes myself happy and what I really want to do. Because this is my life, and I know I have expectations to fill but I need to put myself first. Something that I have been working on lately.

a work in progress

Well, I think I officially have Insomnia. I just cannot sleep anymore. Here I am at 1:57 am, at my computer, with my suitcase in the corner, still half ass packed. I have done some down sizing, as my mother calls it. Going through what you packed, and asking yourself " Do I really need this?", but this event only resulted in 3 shirts being put back in the closet. Tonight, I dyed my hair, pluked the brows, mani and pedi all to prepare for romaaa =) also it was time to dye my hair. Note to self, never dye your hair on your own again. I missed so many spots, and if you look really closely you can notice it. Also I was covered in hair dye, and had to scrub at my skin for at least 7 mintues to make some progress. SO here I am, putting off sleeping, and finishing packing. I am listening to angus and Julia, searching for places to see in Florence and ocassionally glancing up at the full moon right outside of my balcony. so now it is 205am, i will go to sleep now. because I have to wake up at 6am.
love love love
rhi

unexpected sights

Today was simply wonderful. Guilia went to the main piazza in town, ate gelato and laughed at the italians who thought they could ice skate. Then we played in the park, and walked home.
Chocolate gelato is my weakness, I could have ate at least 2 more cones... Not much else to say other than the fact that I am going to ROMEEEEEEE tommorrow. Cannot wait. I may possibly pee my pants.

I will try to update , via voyaging.
until then,
rhi

ps. Lells, you are never going to believe who I bumped into on the street today, not just once but twice. yes, it was frangayso.

insomnia

I cannot sleep, no matter what I do. I am just so excited for Brook to come to Italiaaaa. Only 2 more sleeps until I get to see her sweet face, and we are reunited. I am little a little kid on christmas eve, tossin and turning wondering when the clock will turn to morning time. I cannot wait for us to start our trip. We start off With 3 nights in Rome, 2 of those nights Caity and Meredith are coming with us, but they are heading back on the monday morning because they have to work. So brook and I plan on venturing out to the Catacombs on Monday, and I would really like to see some things off the old beaten path. I will have plenty of pictures to show. Then we are off to Venice for 2 days and 1 night, I cannot imagine the feeling of being there. have wanted to see this place for years, and now I will in a matter of days. So many bridges to walk across, so many boats to ride in and many bottles of wine to try. After our Venice experience, we are headed to the wonderous city of Florence. I think I am really excited to see Florence, after some quicky handy dandy research off of google and some pictures from a friends recent stay in Florence. The duomo is absolutely beautiful, not quite sure what style it is from. I think it is the romantic style, but I could be very wrong. I am sure we will have a great time, we are staying at a hostel with other young people, so maybe we might meet more people! I always love meeting new people when you travel. Then back to Milan, for 4 days and 3 nights. I am a little sad, that none of my au pair friends here will be able to meet Brook. Meredith is off to the mountains with her family, Tania and Eve are in Paris, Mon is in Urbino but she will be able to meet Tatiana. Not quite sure what we are goin to do , meaning where we are going to go out, haha. I imagine the Club, Wish and somewhere on Corso Como. I have not been to A disco, since New years eve, and most of you know how that turned out. But this time I plan on not making friends that have an unlimited supply of alcohol. Bad idea. The past 2 days have been absolutely disgusting pouring rain, and cold windy fronts, so I have been catching up on the Vampire diaries. I told myself I was going to wait till I got home, and buy the seasons, but I couldnt bare it anymore. So now, I havent been able to sleep because I have been staying up till 3am, watching Vampires. sometimes I worry myself. I have stumbled upon this amazing musician, named Ed Harcourt. Actually lella posted it on her blog, a song called This ones for you. such a beautiful song. I would post the link, but that would require effort from me, and I dont have much of that today. well until tommorrow,

rhi

First thought

As I was attempting to entertain Guilia yesterday at the parco, I had this strange sudden feeling of missing something. I am not quite sure what triggered this feeling, it could have been the rain or the dark gloomy cloud above my head. It could have been that Guilia was taking her angry out on me, and it very well could have been the fact that I have been away from home for 5.5 months now. It really seems unreal to me, that I have managed to do so well for myself being away from home at such a young age. Although every now and then, I feel like a child and all I really want is to be home. I miss home, I miss my friends, I miss my parents and my sister, I miss my dogs, I miss the sound of the washing machine when I wake up in the morning, I miss my favourite foods, I miss my pink house coat, I miss my Canadian toothpaste, I miss being able to lay on my couch and watch MTV and not feeling like this is awkward. As you can see I miss alot of things, and after going on for what seemed like hours about the things I missed, I started to think about how I dealt with missing these things. Yes, I have cried a couple of times because I missed everyone but it just felt that missing something was always part of the routine. Never in my 18 years of life have I been completely satisfied with everything that was within my reach. I have always missed someone or something, that I just cannot have at that moment. It seems that personally, I have always been too far away from someone who was important in my life. I started to wonder if this opportunity is really worth missing more than I am achieving. For better way to put it, instead of babbling on and confusing you. I am just wondering, when do you stop missing people? Does that feeling of longing for someone or abandonment ever go away? It doesn't matter if they were in your life ages ago, or last week, I feel like I am always longing for that person. I do not want missing someone to become apart of my routine.. The last thought that popped into my mind, is what happens when you stop missing that person. Is it because you have returned to them, or is it because you have forgotten what to miss about them.